Dying Alone by Tyler Gore

Dying Alone......... Have you ever felt like you was dying alone?.  I have and at the moment its how I been feeling for the last three weeks, I know sad to say, but its the truth, I no one knows what I go thru on a daily basis, life sometimes gets harder the further you travel, the roads get more bumper, the people you love and thought loved you,  seem more distance, you don't hear from them as much, as you once did, and yeah it hurts, if you didn't know, or couldn't tell I write this from a prison cell, a place I've been for the last twenty-one years, and being honest, I'll be the first to admit, some people think prison saved them, I think it's killing me, cause slowly I'm becoming someone I don't want to be, I hate this place, cause it keeps me in a negative mindset,  no matter what goes on, how can I be at peace, knowing I'm being forced, to do something  I don't wanna do, how can I have peace, if I can't help those I love in there time of need, how can I be a father to my kids, or a brother to my sisters, or son to my mother, if I can't even be around them? but back to the point at hand, the point I stress,  the point I try to make, I is man no one wants to die alone, not even me, no matter how tough I am, or how bad people label me out to be,  I'm might have a million labels to go with my name, but the one I want most is peace, yeah, I just wanna be at peace, I wanna be happy, I'm tired of pretending like I'm happy, by putting on a fake smile, I want the real thing, but will I ever have that again in this life, I wanna share something with whoever might read this, me and God ain't on talking terms, but however, I do know God is real, even when he doesn't answer, I know he still hears, I just don't think he listens to me, and I kinda wonder why.?, what have I done that's so bad, even the creator wants to listen to me, ain't I'm supposed to be his child..? well I don't feel like a child of a King, I feel lost, I feel hopeless, I feel depressed, I feel lonely, I feel abandoned, I feel afraid, cause I feel I'm walking down a dark road, but don't know what awaits me, at the end of that dark road, people say life is supposed to be lived to the fullest, but how does one do that? without being with those you truly love. You know I was so lost last night, that I begged someone to read the Bible with me, I was just that lost, but I needed peace, yet I still left that cell, just as lost as I was when I walked in there, but for some stranger reason, what was read to me  stuck with me all thru the night, now remember me and God ain't on talking terms,  I've stopped praying, cause it's like a job,  I wasn't getting paid to do, besides I always feel like I'm talking to myself anyway, so I just find it hard to do, is that wrong of me? does that make me not believe in God, I would hope not, cause I really do, I'm just lost, and I'm trying to find my way, I just don't know how! so what I read last night comes out the old testaments, its called Deuteronomy, and its the thirtyish, chapter, and it reads. The blessing of returning to God, .....  Now it shall come to pass, when all these things come upon you, the blessing and the curse which I have set before you, and you call them to mind among all the nations where the Lord your God drives you, and you return to the Lord your God and obey his voice, according to all that I command you Today, not tomorrow, but today,  you, and your children, with all your heart, and with all your soul, that the Lord your God will bring you back from captivity, and have compassion on you, and gather you again from all the nations  where the Lord your God has scattered you., if any of you are driven out to the farthest parts under heaven, from there the Lord your God, will gather you, and from there he will bring you. then the Lord your God will bring you to the land which your fathers possessed, and you shall possess it, he will prosper you and multiply you more than your fathers. and their lord your God will circumcise your heart, and the heart of your descendants, to love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul that you may live, Also, the Lord your God will put all these curses on your enemies and those who hate you, who persecuted you, and you will again obey the voice of the Lord your God and do all his Commandments which he commands to do today, The Lord your God will make you abound in all your work of your hands, in the fruit of your body, in the increases of your livestock, and in the producer of your land for good, for the Lord will again rejoice over you for good as he rejoiced over your fathers, if you Obey the voice of the Lord your God to keep his commandments and his statues which are written in this book of the law, and if you turn to the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul,  , some people say this ain't hard, but few do it, it's hard to love with all your heart and soul, when you don't really know what love is, sometimes I feel like its just a word, cause I haven't experience love in so long, I mean real love where I can feel love thru a hug, or see love thru someone smile, here there is no love, so when you don't receive love it does something to you, it makes you cold, it makes you not care, even if I was to hear the voice of God, would I actually believe it after so many years of going without hearing it,  so again I ask have you ever felt like you were dying alone, c use every day to lose a piece of me,  a piece of my mind, my soul, my heart,  but where does it go,  I'm tired of trying to fix these puzzles they call life, it's just too hard, and I know there is a way out, I just don't wanna take the easy route, after fighting so long,  the battle is hard, and the war is long, so what am I gone do,  who can I turn to, shouldn't it be the same one who said turn to me and I will bless you,  it hard, but I know if I don't do something fast I'm gone lose myself...  so I ask for help from anyone who can understand where I'm coming from, and where I'm going thank you, always Fatboy

Dream she woke up

 Hello Dolls

I had this dream

Where this woman came ill

And she fell down 

However after weeks in the hospital,

Her brain wasn't working as it should

The doctors didn't know what to make of it

No one knew what was wrong with her

Brain wave we're moving slow

So the only thing they knew was she wasn't 

Braindead

But she wasn't there

As she would only walk around

As if she was a walking dead

But she didn't hurt anyone 

And her family couldn't take care of her their self

So they place her in a home

After 3 years 

She woke up outta whatever she was in

And she said she want to go home

If you place a love one in a home

Because something happen to her

After she fell from a fever 

& no doctor can explain 

To why she the way she is

Because she they only person in the world it happen too

She just woke up and she wants to come home

When I Place a Spell on My Enemy

 

When I Place a Spell on My Enemy 

I do not wish death on them

I make them feel the baggage, they trying to place on me

Ex: the more the person or group

Lie and try to hurt me 

They because poorly 

Or

Things around them will fall apart

Or

Both

When I Place a Spell on My Enemy 

They kill their self 

By trying to kill me

I use myself as a sacrifice

Once I do that 

I walk away

Because the truth be told 

I don't care what people think

I only care about who I let in think

And I don't let many in

Because I am an investment

And I will let you have it all

I understand who that person or group ready is

And the only way to break the spell is 

To do right by me

So they can have peace of mind

Because if I don't have peace withinside me

 I place them into a painting or drawing

Like a voodoo doll

But I use art

I paint them in frame

Removing them with inside me

So I can have my peace of mind back

I never will use spell work for the death of anyone 

They can do that by their self

The more they take

The more they lie

The more they hate

Once I place the last color of paint 

I will not stand down 

I will not accept breadcrumbs

The weigh they place on themselves will stay

Till

They do right by me

Besides if I wish them death

How could they see me restart all over again

Or 

Do right by me

They will be inside a frame 

Place away 

Where they will no longer come back or see

Be careful with me 

I'm the blessing you can't see

I will always sacrifice myself 

Because I understand 

You will always miss understand me 

So I place myself on the cross you made just for me

Because I will be reborn 

Spiritual Alarm

Spiritual Alarm

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Be safe